Like I needed anything else…. like I needed another bullet to my head…. I’ll spare you most the details. Sick of it all really….. literally!
Thats what I’ve been up to this week in the sweltering heat!! Literally lying like a deadweight unable to walk, move, eat, sleep. Awake every hour back on pain meds that didnt really help!! Cheers to the pain meds that dont help…… !
Started feeling unwell on monday, quickly realised I had an infection cos I’m an expert on this crap now and a google expert too! My GP practice know me now as an emergency case. Gurv made a call while I lay around like a dead mosquito and I had antibiotics within a few hours. They were very strong and kicked in quite quickly so I live to tell the tale.
Today, I can move! Like literally, I was in agony for 3 days, my lovely neighbours came in to check on me and I couldn’t even lift my head. I may have given them a fright! Today I am hungry like a beast but taking it easy. My nurse dropped in to see me and commented on how my leggings were half falling off me!
The infection was unrelated and whilst I would never wish this on anyone, some other frikkin bugger could have had this infection on my behalf. I’ve literally done my fair share and the fair share of 60 others. Some days I wonder how I have got this far but I am grateful for the strength I have been given to get through each day. God is definately holding me in the palm of his hand. At times it doesn’t feel like it but my faith is keeping me going.
So apart from being a little weak and scared to move, I am doing ok today. I’ve been knitting……. thats the big indicator!!!! It’s not worth moving much these days…. I just sit n keep shouting out to the kids. I think Suraj has lost weight for all the fetching and carrying, which is a good thing really.
Talking of Suraj, amoungst my chemo, side effects and bloody infection….. my little champ has done 2 weeks of exams without a fuss. I just think how other kids in his class just sailing along stressing over exams whilst Suraj has a tornado ripping through every day and just gets on with it. And Amar, I am so proud of them.
Amar comes to me every hour almost and has a list of 4 questions, drink, blanket, charger, tablets? They both know now what I need and when and can safely fetch it for me! I’m not stressing over school work….. I choose my battles now! They have more life skills to last them 3 lifetimes….. truly!
Yesterday I was angry and swore a lot but today, I feel calm. Tomorrow can be anything….. who knows! I don’t stress….I live in the present moment. Its a coping mechanism and you have to learn and train your brain to live in the present moment ….. its the only way to survive.
Everyone that knows me knows I love the sun…. but this…. a bit too much!! Not enjoying….. im already overheated!
So today, I feel better and I have scones! A beautiful friend sent us afternoon tea in a box and most know that scones are my favourite thing!!!
I am so grateful for the beautiful friends and family we have around us. Truly, we couldn’t have done this alone.
When you’re stuck in all day….. its nice to have stuff come through the door…. I keep ordering bits of crap that we dont really need!! Like garden tools and bedding plants, and dusters!!!! I wish I could send every single friend a little fun in the post!!!
Ok I need to eat my scones now!!! Thank you Neelam and Nosheen …. superstars 💗💗💗