#Atleastyoudonthavecancer

Another week done. For me with its ups and down. I have spent the entire week battling with my thoughts. My brain not giving up. Lots of thoughts running through my head. All the what ifs. This is not usually me so a difficult week.

I had 3 good fairly active days. Well my active is not even on the scale of anyone elses!!! It is a lot of sitting around with very short bursts of doing a task. I have filled my time doing a bit of weeding in the garden and pleased with my efforts!! Tackled a meter at a time except for Thursday when I decided to yank my overgrowing passion fruit out which was taking over a whole section of the garden. I did a good job and it is all neat and tidy now but yesterday I paid the price and ended up flat out in bed all day Friday with a bit of a cold.

Expected but annoying. My body is just not what it was but hey ho….. is ok…. I achieved!!!

I have received a massive bag of new meds following on from nurse visits last week. We are going to try something new to see if I can break through this relentless pain and get on a little bit more! Fingers crossed for a bit of a break.

The rest of my time has been cooking, knitting, watching movies with the kids!!! Basically the same as everyone else right now!!

If anyone is struggling with all this….. #atleastuoudonthavecancer !! Seriously, you are one step ahead of me!

The stress it has given me this week is a little too much. I am supporting friends as they are supporting me and when you hear that friends are having treatment delayed or cancelled, it is just plain harsh. It is a massive debate but right now we don’t seem to have the time or resource to discuss it. Decisions are just being made and it is not right.

It is a really extra stressful time for everyone and added headache for any patient requiring ongoing treatment. Count yourself lucky if you are just riding it out at home……

My treatment is going ahead in 2 weeks time. I have no reason to believe it won’t or that there will be a delay but there may be a lot more traffic in the hospital which will really stress me out. I need to stay 5000 miles away from corona.

As you know, I do a lot of alternate treatments to keep my head and body going through all this. Reflexology, reiki, crystal healing, chinese accupuncture……. all this has stopped and I am just managing myself. This also a big pain in the a@@.

Those weekly visits just kept me and my brain in check and now, I just wait it out! I didn’t want to write a big moany blog but it has got to me this week. The uncertainty ontop of uncertainty. Limbo on top of limbo…… its a hard one to bear with little to help distract the mind!

Anyway, I thought I can share that I am in the ‘vunerable’ category identified by the government and nhs. I am registered with my local supermarket and should now get deliveries at home. This takes one bit of extra stress away to reduce any further risks for me.

I ventured out just once this week to have a short 20 minute walk to the park. In that small amount if time, a police van drove up and police patrolled the park space! All equipment and play area is chained or taped off. It is very surreal but without this, I guess folk just will not adhere to the guidelines.

So now we are in for a little heatwave this weekend!!!! I cannot complain at all, if the weather is good…. I’m good!! I plan to just sit and bathe in the sun……with icecream!!! Garden is mostly done and I don’t think there is much left to do apart from keep everything nicely watered!!

My seeds have all sproated so might pop them into my trug now that frosty mornings have passed! Should be getting a good supply of beets, tomatoes and strawberries at least!!!

Kids made me really chuckle this week when they showered and I handed Amar a random moisturiser…. Suraj comes over and comments….. “Amar, you smell like a teacher!!!”

Keep chins up folks, it could be worse! Its challenging but a day at a time!! Loads of jokes flying around keeping us amused. I am sure everyone is planning a nice few sunny garden days, at least it is not raining!!