Five years ago……

Five years ago, I wrote something to express my feelings. In those days I never shared. I just wrote to release my stress. There are good days and there are bad. There are scary days and there are strong days. One day five years ago, I was consumed by my cancer and I wrote this:

Five years later, I feel tired of cancer so I wrote this:

I want to wake up without a care in the world. I don’t want the weight of the world on my shoulders.

I want to go for a brisk walk in the park. I don’t want to be scared of the cold aching my bones.

I want to have a bath with candles, bubbles and creams. I don’t to worry about what harmful chemicals might enter my body.

I want to plan my next holiday in Easter with the kids. I don’t want to worry how I will manage and if my body can cope on a flight.

I want to eat free and enjoy the food all around us. I don’t want to worry about every ingredient and if it can fuel my cancer.

I want to chat and laugh with my friends about everyday life. I don’t want every conversation to include the state of my health.

I want to smile simply like I used to smile. I don’t want a thousand other feelings running behind and through my head.

I want my phonebook to be full of friends, gardeners, decorators and the like. I don’t want it full of therapists, healers and support groups.

I want to wake up each day and breathe and feel the beauty of life. I don’t want to wake up and think how soon I can get back into bed.

I want to colour and craft because I just love creating. I don’t want to knit just to distract from anxiety.

I want to wake up tired because of a big night out. I don’t want to be knackered because of all the drugs I have to take.

I want my belly to hurt because I was laughing to hard. I don’t want a stomach ache from my cancer and the medications.

I want to run around and play badminton with my kids. I don’t want to miss out on precious time as I am scared of doing too much.

I want back ache because I planted all my spring bulbs in the garden. I don’t want my back to ache from a ten minute indoor walk.

I wan’t to just read for the sake of just reading. I don’t want everything I read to be about medical research and cancer.

I want to help others as it gives me pleasure and contentment. I don’t want to feel like we are all hanging on for dear life.

I don’t actually want that much from life. I just don’t want cancer.

10 thoughts on “Five years ago……

    1. Thank you hunny. I did get a brief break in between….. received the hugs. Thank you for reaching out and reading my rambles ….. πŸ’—πŸ’— to you and Adam xxx


  1. Sunshine today! Good morning hun… things will take a turn surely!
    So have faith and will pray all is well soon and meanwhile get planning the Easter holiday with your gorgeous family x

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hey Komal, things will turn definately. I am making slow progress but it is progress!!! Sunshine is helping today, I will try and get out today! Thank you for taking the time to read my blog and message me to let me know you are there πŸ’—πŸ’—πŸ’—


  2. Hi Sal
    Sending you love.
    Hopefully it won’t be long until Spring is here and shining giving some healing powers.
    Lots of hugs
    Foxy xxx

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Hi Sal, draw strength from all around you, family, friends, nature, and all things that are positive. A lesson for us all is to be the best we can be every minute because tomorrow is not promised to anyone.
    Love T

    Liked by 1 person

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