Full of the Joys…..

Each day I wake up full of the joys!! Feeling strong and a bit powerful. Full of hope that today will be THE day! I have a window of a couple of hours when I can do a few ‘important’ tasks for the day. I have to prioritise important as the first few tasks on my list will get done and the likelyhood of those items further down the list….. well just unlikely!!!

Todays important task was to wrap some presents!! We have the last of the Cheema birthdays tomorrow!! My precious Suraj turns 15. So, that was pretty much my job done for today. Was all a bit much!!!! If you think about it, I had to shower, get changed and make brekko too!! All this sucks out the energy from my morning reserve. I was going to do some ironing but my muscles said no!!

I do notice a pattern each day. It is almost like clockwork and I can’t seem to snap out of it at the moment. By noon I begin to feel quite weary. By 1pm, the pain starts. Not excruciating but a dull pain takes over my whole entire body. If I have done stuff the day before, my arms will ache. My back just pipes up everyday regardless and my belly has started to join in with the pain party.

The pain is not so bad I guess but I think my pain threshold has diminished and then scary steps in. I know how bad the pain can be and I get a bit scared of that happening again. Im not afraid to admit all of this! Its all part and parcel and I am sure I will get past it soon. I am patiently waiting for when I can look back and say….. well I’m over that now!!!

In keeping with being open and honest I seem to be getting a bit panicky and am feeling a bit anxious of late. I guess its expected but just a bit unusual for me. I have, however a blend of essential oils that I slap on everywhere every few hours to prevent myself getting in a state. Prevention before it all starts….. so far I am managing.

I also now have a wonky eye!!! You won’t notice it unless I mention it, so here is my wonky eye!! Its more visible without makeup but I’m really not sharing that pic right now 👻💀!!

This pic was from my birthday. The sun came out and we managed to go out for lunch and dinner!! I usually go for a nice walk and pop into the garden center and treat myself to a birthday scone but for the first time in years, this just didn’t happen! I still had a lovely day with all the Cheema boys !

My wonky eye is just that, no other symptoms or facial droopiness but it has been reported to my team so we will keep an ‘eye’ on it 🤣🤣🤣

So yeah basically once pain kicks in, it sucks the life and energy out of me so I am reaching for the morphine around 2pm and end up passed out in my bed around 3pm. I end up being a bit sluggish and sickly for the rest of the day and just potter about or lay around knitting. I get a child’s portion of dinner down me late evening and sprint aka drag myself enthusiastically to my bed by 8pm. This has been my routine for the last few weeks.

I haven’t done much with the boys this half term but they are cool. Enjoying the chill time! Every few hours chill time is interrupted with me getting them both to hoover, put a wash on or empty the dishwasher!

I have been binge watching all the series on netflix…. The Stranger and Virgin River are highly recommended!! This nicely takes me to bed time so I can just start all over again the next day!! Oh and anyone with kids or an interest in baking, watch Zumbo’s Just Desserts and Sugar Rush!! Takes you into another world for a while !!!

With everything that has gone on, I have not been too successful in putting or keeping much weight on! Since the start of all this, I’ve lost 10 kgs. I’m not too worried as I don’t think I have gone below the line on that chart thingy. You know the line ….. can’t think of the name right now!! I’d rather have a bit more fat on me as all my clothes are hanging off me which is just plain annoying. I am not going out to buy more clothes so everything is just going to have to hang for now! I’ll use cellotape if I need to 🤣🤣🤣

Another issue with loosing weight is that I do feel quite cold. Hating this weather at the moment which is why I am not leaving the house right now. It gets straight in my bones and ruins the few good hours I do get in a day.

However I have an electric blanket in my bed and my heating on at home!!! The boys all huffing and puffing around me in their shorts but if you can’t be comfortable in your own home!!! This highly amuses me every day!!! When noone is looking, I just keep cranking it up!! It is never too hot for me!