A Whole bag of Porridge

Thank goodness….. by the skin hanging off my weary bones, we reached February!! I am so glad to see the back of the last month. I don’t even want to say it’s name. Today couldn’t have come any sooner for me.

Literally day by day, I am getting some strength back into my body. It is very slow but it is happening which is the main thing! I could say so much but for now, I’m moving forward and not looking back.

Yesterday I actually went out for the first time the whole month! It was a last minute decision but something I have been trying to do for a long time so I took my chance. I won’t debate about it on here, need to save my brain energy along with everything else!!

I caught up with some friends from my Black and Minority Ethnic cancer support group, BAME, headed up by Saima Thompson who was diagnosed with lung cancer at 29 yrs old. Short story even shorter, I ended up on ITV evening news raising awareness and expressing my views!

https://www.itv.com/news/london/2020-01-31/the-restaurateur-trying-to-help-communities-understand-cancer/

It was actually really nice just talking to others. Gurveer kept telling me all month to try meet with friends or go into town but I couldn’t manage it until now. Had a lovely time just yabbering away…..had a coffee, got some fresh air! I was so nervous about going out of the house! My bag filled with painkillers, emergency morphine, anti sickness tablets and snacks!!! I took everything over the course of the day!

After the big outing, I returned home a little cold and so sat in a hot bath for 90 mins which was just lush!!! Followed by an hour in my bed!! I then managed to make dinner!!! Just made soup but I stood up and conquered!

So everything moving in the right direction…..

I just have one main issue I am dealing with right now and that is my belly!!! I have about a litre of fluid sat in my belly which was causing me immense and extreme pain and discomfort. The pain and pressure has settled over the last week however, my stomach is still a little enlarged….

Two weeks ago, I was ready to go to A&E as I couldn’t manage the pain of it. Since I have had my new treatment, it has calmed down a little. I had an ultrasound on Tuesday to take a look and was supposed to have a needle put in and fluid drained to relieve it but I chickened out and asked them to delay a week to see if it resolves by itself ….. this would be a better option in the long run.

Today, we managed to go into town for an hour or so. I needed to buy some felt tips!!!! Literally, this is all I am doing….. its so mindful and relaxing. Leena popped in one day with some rice m, dahl and a colouring book !!!!!! It has kept me busy!!!

Today, my lovely friend Sarah popped in to check in on me and we had a good catch up as I filled her in on the craziness that went on! I haven’t really allowed anyone to meet all of Jan apart from 3 of my closest and my sisters. For a start, I just sleep a lot and then I didn’t want any further risk of infection. We just chatted away for few hours about kids and work….. you know, the real world! It was a good distraction. I am so grateful for the amazing support 🥰 !

I know folk have been asking after me. I am sorry if I worried anyone. It was a very worrying time but I am feeling better now so slowly but surely moving forward.

So this morning, I progressed from half a bag of porridge to a whole bag!!! Baby steps!!! Need to put some weight back on. I was quite thrilled with this little achievement and gave myself a little cheer when I actually finished it x

Hope everyone is having a precious weekend x