Chilli Sauce

Very cautiously…. the last few days have been quite normal. A very weird feeling, I have been quite unwell for a very long period of time. It actually felt weird and I almost felt guilty for having strength and feeling like a normal human being.

Its time to get my life back on track! I have been laying around unwell for months, one thing after another after another. Constant punches in the gut. This week after stopping all meds, I have some strength. What I have learnt is that my body is mighty strong.

It has coped with so much and handled it all. This week I don’t feel like I have cancer. I feel like me. I have done a few things, moved around, started driving again, started eating again…..went to Luton !!!!

On Friday morning after dropping Amar to school…. very cautiously, I WENT TO THE GYM !!!!!!!

I havent been in a gym in goodness knows how long and haven’t even walked. Last week I struggled to walk more than 10 minutes. My body couldn’t handle it.

I have truly learnt some lessons so realllllly took it slowly! 3km per hr slowly!!! I walked for 20mins and thought, yes I can make it to 40mins and possibly an hour. At 30 mins I realised that I was approaching my limit so decided to stop.

I was happy enough with that. Just incase, I then hopped into the jacuzzi for a bit to give my muscles a cuddle for all their hard work !!

Its not a marathon but I know my limits and thrilled with my efforts!!! I rested my body with an afternoon nap on my infared biomat!!!

Its a step in the right direction. I will attempt a walk now every day. Its been too long for me not doing any exersize!!!

When I can’t, I don’t but when I can, I will!!!

I have done lots since and had quite a busy weekend!! On saturday took the kids trampolining with their cousins and then went out for dinner with my siblings…… its been absolutely ages since I have been out for dinner so I put some easy heels on!!! Was really pleased with myself.

I was getting all excited so thought I’d order a small glass of prosecco!!! When the waiter came, I got stage fright and had hot water with lemon instead!!!!!

After we had eaten, the guys were all enjoying their evening but us ladies decided to take one car and head home!!! Collectively we are just not what we used to be!!!! But is ok….. we had been out all day…… I crashed as soon as my head hit the pillow.

Sunday was another long day……I had a few things on that day one of which was a baby shower for my friend Selome’s daughter in law! I actually managed to dress up and go out to big London and mark this special occassion. I was just so happy to be there!

I had to pop to a friends house in the morning and I just hopped into my car and went on my merry way. I don’t take anything for granted these days! If it was last week, I would have asked Gurv to ferry my pretty little self around but Sunday….. I just drove!!

Well I’d been all the way to Luton and had a full tank of fuel so there was that!!!!

We decided to have a drive through London, stop for icecream and finish the weekend off with a family dinner!

We had a lovely time, some quality time without feeling unwell. Everyone keeps telling me …. touch wood and yes thank fully etc….. I dont want to but I sort of do want to shout it from the roof tops. Why does everyone start rolling around the wooden floor just cos I say I am feeling better?

I am really not getting too excited cos something will come and just smack me over the head again and I do just fall into a heap on my bed at night!

I am just pleased to see the kids being happy and not worrying for one day. The poor lads have been through a lot. Even they comment when they see me well!

So in a nutshell, thats where I am right now. I was supposed to go in for bloods tomorrow but I felt a bit afraid so postponed it for a day. Going in Wednesday morning then treatment commences on Thursday. I have to brave those tablets again and already getting anxiety at the thought of it.

Oh before I go….. I haven’t eaten chilli for months and months. I can give up anything but chilli. My insides couldn’t take it. I’d feel the burning down my neck and in my stomach. Life is dull without chilli sauce!!! Today I had a toastie with Encona chilli sauce!!! My life is becoming complete again !!!!