Some of you may have pieced together the latest in my cancer journey. Some, I may have convinced that all was ok!
Sometimes, I need to digest ‘news’ and have an idea of next steps or plan of action before I can write about the goings on and release the burden of it all into my ramblings.
I’ll bring you back up to speed. I had my CT scan on 20th May. Things were looking good and for the first time since everything began, my oncologist talked about the possibility of having liver surgery which is a very good option for me. However I would need to wait 6 weeks to have a PET scan to confirm there is no metabolic activity anywhere else just in case. A six week delay is required so that the chemo is completely out of my system as it can show false positives on a PET.
I had my PET scan on the 1st July. On 2nd July, I was told that there seemed to be some activity in my lymph nodes but this was suspiciously very close to my port so there was thought that it could just be inflammation. We couldn’t rule anything out so we waited another week for the team to review my scans again.
On 11th July, I was called unexpectedly to see my oncologist. I was not due to meet him now as we had all thought, surgery was the next step. Just getting that call for an appointment confirmed what was suspected and what we were about to be told.
Another difficult appointment, a cancer spread….. whatever….thats when I took myself off to Slovenia and I will tell you why.
The surgery that I could have if I ever get to that stage is a liver resection. We are talking about having 50% of my liver removed, infected bile duct removed and all stitched back neatly. The surgeon, a master in liver surgery so I know I will be in safe hands but never the less, a massive op of 9 to 11 hrs and massive recovery of 3 to 6 months. That thought alone frightened me. Also there is never a guarantee. The stupid cancer can still come back.
So I made a decision and off I went on my yoga retreat. There was nothing more anyone could do here at this point.
So now it has spread in my neck but….. this is how I see it……..
To get to the next line of treatment, I need a fresh biopsy. This cancer is relatively small so the only other place to get the biopsy from is the bile duct and that gives me nightmares in itself as it us so deeply embedded in the liver that it is difficult to get too and extremely painful.
My biopsy was done really quickly and was relatively straightforward. I am healing well and my team have the vital sample that is needed. I have one option for treatment that has come through already. My sample has gone off for further testing so I should have results within 2 to 3 weeks for another 2 lines of treatment. There are options.
I have been into the hosp last week to sign off all the consents I need and have had further bloods yesterday to see if I will be able to tolerate one of the drugs. Either way, I am ready to go as soon as my results come through and treatment will start again……….. is what is actually going on!
So firstly…… bastard feckin bastard cells….. literally wth…… I am doing all I can….. feck off nasty evil beggars. How dare you.
Secondly, I tried to crumble. I thought I needed to release some of the tension but I failed to cry, I couldn’t crumble….I need to just crack on I guess. Kids hols, family visiting, it was a good distraction at this point and I have had time to digest it!!
Lastly, with all that said we just thought….. fuck it……. and we are off to Paris for a few days….. !!! Thought we would do something different and have some fun!! There is nothing more I can do here for the next few days.
So 6am here we are!!! All lined up at the station, all the comedians out in force!!!
Au revoir les gens !!!