Exactly 31 days later…. the 21st May was my last chemo and today the 21st June, I can say I have had a normal day!
Why do all these dates resonate in my head? When you are in so much pain, you wonder if you will ever have a pain free day again! The last month, it really lasted! Took everything I had. I know literally how many ‘good’ hours I had each day. Some werent even good but just managable but even the good hours were obsolete by the evening when I was in double the amount of unbearable pain.
I know my mental status was affected. I did stuff just for the sake of it. Just about got through each day. Took sleeping tabs to get through it quicker as the pain wouldn’t allow me to sleep.
Didn’t feel like eating. Exhausted, I even forgot to pick up poor Amar from school last week but everyone around me knows the drill if they see my little pea just hanging at the gates!!
I have barely left the house, not even wanting to venture anywhere, nothing being of any value. I know my diet has not been amazing because I couldn’t even be bothered to eat properly which didnt help!
Today, I am thrilled to say, I feel ok!!! I really won’t get too excited over it. How did I get here…. well is it a coincidence? I constantly said with my back, I haven’t pulled anything, I never did any damage. It was stress, tension, allergic reaction…. all of it!!
So my mat arrived on Tuesday. I couldnt lift it so my boys set it up for me. I used it for 30 mins that night.
I wake around 6.30am every morning….. who wants to get up at that hour? No, me either!! So I’ve just rolled onto my mat for abput 45mins! You have to ease yourself in gently. The last 2 days, I have then got up from it and done a lap of the park. Something I have not done for a long time!
So today, showering became less of a chore! I got dressed and met some friends for brekko!! I wandered around the shops for a very short while and then met a friend for lunch!! Following this, I drove to Barnet to pick up singy songy Suraj from school and I have not even driven to my local supermarket in the last month!
My sister Anita accompanied me since I decided to run before I could walk. We laughed so hard we almost hyperventilated. The highlights being I almost reversed into another car and almost drove into oncoming traffic. I know none of this is funny but it was almost and we and my car are all in one piece!!
The last month, the whole situation, the things we have to do in life….. we were stressing and sweating not knowing if we would make it to Suraj on time. The stupid satnav firing vague instructions at me and me giving her verbal back!! Whilst trying to stay in the correct lane and trying to manoevre all this traffic, I just yelled out ‘and I’ve got really sh$tty hair’!! It had nothing to do with anything at the time but all we could do was laugh and laugh and laugh!! I really haven’t done that in a while!!!
I came home expecting to feel my bones coming through my skin but ….. I didn’t!!! It was like a breakthrough! I was actually in shock. I sat, pressed bits of my back and shoulders to see if I was all still there…. nothing!!
I walked my kids to their karate lesson and walked them back!! I got truly excited then and cleaned just one counter in my kitchen and did the dishes!!! I have invited my sisters kids over for a sleepover so kids and they have had pizza!! Kids are thrilled to bits as we really haven’t done too much lately and they have not seen their beloved cousins !!
I have promised to take them to the cafe for brekko tomorrow and hopefully going to see a movie in the afternoon!!! If I can plant up my hanging baskets tomorrow it will be diamond but I won’t over do it!! Baby steps…..
Can you see me smiling!! I am so grateful for today!!
So yep ….. is it the biomat ….. mmmmm????
If anyone wants to have a go…. honestly, just shout. I feel amazing!! We are not getting any younger so need to take care of our bodies. It is not only our friends across the pond who can feel good. We can too….. the first session is free !!!!! Lol…. joking…. not joking!!!