Helloooooo only me!!! An evening ramble today!!
I’m in week 1 of my 2 weeks off!! Actually it is only Tuesday isn’t it?!
So, to combat the terrible fatigue that just stops me in my tracks, I started taking some steroids which are always prescribed alongside chemo. I had avoided them up to now just because it is more pills, more toxins and I basically thought I was a hero and didn’t need them!!! Tried to fight the tiredness by myself for 3 months with no avail ! I gave it my best shot!
Two weeks taking steroids and I AM BUZZING!!! I actually did stuff!! I went out, cleared out stuff around the house, sorted out my wardrobe, kids room, just stuff!!! Had headspace so called a gardener, painter, sorted a few pending jobs out that I hadn’t got around to doing!!! I was quite chuffed and felt pleased with myself….. if it is like this for next 3 months, then I think I can cope through it.
I even managed to get dressed up and go to a friends 40th birthday. No-one get excited, it wasn’t a big Sal night out or anything! I just sat around and had something to eat, chatted a lot and drank water! (Well, I didn’t even drink much water cos nothing tastes right at the moment) Took one or two photos, again didn’t get too excited with being out and dressed up, was a bit apprehensive at how long I’d last or how bad I’d feel the next day but was all good!
So the next day, I’m viewing pictures on my phone and I’m looking a little chubby!!!! WTH…… I’m not fat chubby but steroid balloon chubby. My face has widened and I am looking a bit round and this will just not do!! TWO WEEKS IS ALL IT TOOK….. TWO BLOOMIN WEEKS! Steroids have kicked in full force. I have no issue with being a bit fat but really it has to be if I have enjoyed my food…. not due to the drugs! My issue with steroids is that it changes your appearance and you start to look different. I’m just not having that! I like me and the way I look……I just don’t wanna look like a patient!
Needless to say, I stopped the steroids immediately. I really don’t want to be on chemo, feeling like trash AND looking like a Beluga whale! There has to be some cut off here….. and its been 4 days since chemo, feeling well, I should be OK!
Felt a bit tired on monday, quite tired, then it got worse and by about 5pm, quickly wrapped up dinner and kids agendas and that was that. SLAM, CRASH, out for the count!! Evening didn’t go far past 7.30pm! Now it is Tuesday and I’m pretty much finished for the week already!
I’m just gonna sit here and ride it out and wait for my face to de-widen itself!! Can you see my predicament?! Beach whale or sleepy Koala….. which would you choose?
So that is me back to the drawing board. Last week, I was like YAY, I’ve got this. This week, no fatty, you haven’t! I’m too exhausted to even think now what to do for the best. I hate drugs at the best of times but to see such a quick reaction scares me. I can play about with the doses but to be honest, I’d prefer not to go near them again. I will keep researching and trying different things. If some of these storms would frikkin bog off, I may be able to get some fresh air………… oooohhhhhhhh it just came to me!!!!
Oxygen therapy…….. is what I need!! My sessions have been paid for, I just need to get myself there…. ok so thats my weekend sorted!!!! Lets see if I can combat this. Someone reminded me today that it has only been a week since I had chemo. I may need to go easier on myself but when you have a few good days, it is hard to then hit a mid week slump!
Here, I like to add some nice pictures or one of my inspiring positive quotes but we are running on very low fuel so here are some pics of the 30 foot tree that fell into my garden during storm Gareth and the clean up operation that happened today!! The hangy man made me chuckle a bit!!