A Month Off…..

I am quite pleased with myself!!! I managed to wangle almost a month off my treatment !! Now, I’m not stupid, we are dealing with a critical illness here but put it all down on paper with a clear head and as I always say…… don’t ask, don’t get!!

29th Jan – End of cycle 4

11th Feb – CT Scan

12th Feb – Supposed to have chemo

13th Feb – Meet with oncologist

17th Feb – Supposed to have chemo

14th Feb – 24th Feb – TIME OFF !!!

So with the timing of it all, and the results of the scan, there was a bit of wiggle room. Since, I had just had my scan and the result was positive, I thought I had some extra time to just go off and be myself and enjoy some family time and my oncologist agreed with this 100%.

I am totally knocked down with this chemo. Had a long chat with my oncologist who did say that it was the effect of chemo on a body that has been battered by previous treatment. He didn’t say battered but that was the jist of it!!! Your body does have a memory, muscle memory so when this infusion hits, I am just like a dead weight in my bed for about 10 days. ‘This is not successful treatment” was my onc’s opinion on it. If there is no quality of life on treatment, then we need to look at options. Hence the new regime of 2 weeks of infusions and 2 weeks off.

So, a much needed break was taken!!! This is the first time since Nov that I have been able to breathe, to feel like myself, to enjoy the days and that is quite a long time of feeling unwell !! I felt like WOAH…..so this is normal !! You are in there somewhere! I have been very lucky with the weather and have made the most of each precious day off!!

Spa days, safari park, garden centers, small walks, lunches, dinners, cinema and had 7 kids over for a sleepover plus my 2 for my eldest’s birthday which I haven’t done in a long time so really happy about that and the kids are even happier !! I have crammed a fair bit in. I even did a tiny bit of gardening on two sunny days…..with much caution!!

However………and I am not complaining! The reality of it…… most days, I take one or even two small power naps so I can manage a full day!! If I don’t take a nap or have been out during the day, I have retreated to my bed early. By early I mean 8pm latest and 5.30pm earliest!! My body is not too strong so once I’ve used up the days energy……I need to put on my pj’s, plop into bed and just rest it out!! I’ve left a special dinner early as a chronic headache crept up on me so quickly and left me ready to just pass out! So, I do really listen to my body. I have to, it kinda just gives up on me!

When this is not your normal, and most know being still is really not my normal, it can be a bit frustrating! I’ve surprised myself by just accepting a lot of this. Living in the moment, not worrying about what I can’t do but concentrating on what I can!! Enjoying the day for what it is and enjoying my power naps when I need them! This has worked for me and The Cheema family are all happy now and refreshed and ready to go again. Gurveer and the kids are all on standby…..we are all in this together.

So, tomorrow…. lets see what the blood tests show! Again, I am positive that this regime will work out better for me. The weather is better to lift the spirits, the two week break excites me and hopefully will allow my body to recover more quickly.

Tuesday is the start of the next four months. No I don’t want to do this, don’t want to sit in hosp for 7 hrs on Tuesday with the sun blazing outside and I might just have to climb out of the window!!!! However, I have the support I need, I haven’t seen my lovely team, Lesley, Eileen and Priya for ages so that will be exciting and there will be hugs!!

I’m almost through all of this which I have been powering through over the last 7 days!! Getting body strong and ready to batter this cancer again!!!

Even managed to stay off the sleeping pills this week and sleep all by myself but next few days…. in anticipation…. I may need a little help !!!

Today, I sat in the garden centre for 2 hours with my sister, drinking coffee and basking in the sun. Does it get any better than that ??!!

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