I just think of this as normal….

Suraj, age 13, “I just think of all this as normal and then everything else is a bonus”

A deep, loving and caring thought from my firstborn yesterday!! Yeah a good way to look at it really. At the moment, this is our normal but the bonuses we have in between outweigh all of this. The kids are being a massive support and burst into random dances and duets at dinner time……. cos kids have that magic ability to forget sometimes and it is a real blessing and they just love music really !!

Had been a bit of a hairy week!! Ended up with chronic nerve pain in my back all of Friday to Sunday and mainly stayed in my bed. On sunday, I contemplated contacting my team and telling them I couldn’t come for my bloods. In pain, we went to the temple and asked them to do a special prayer for us with the entire congregation. I couldn’t bend or sit without feeling winded, that sciatic pain …. anyway… I just went. I wanted to go so I did.

By a little miracle on monday, I managed to drive myself to a chiro appointment and had accupuncture on my back to relieve pressure and restore balance.

Drove myself to my appointment for my bloods but still in a bit of pain. Bloods taken through the port…. some more drama. Last week, port was playing up and took some time to get some blood out. I told Priya, my nurse that I’d ran out!!!

This week was Lesley’s turn. Again, port didn’t seem to be playing ball and wasn’t giving blood. Was all a bit frightful!! The frikkin port needs to just co-operate, we really don’t need more drama. Took a break and a second piercing and we got blood!!

This is my lovely nurse Lesley. Lesley is calm and just amazing really. There was no stress or panic, just lets take a break and go again! Lesley is at the other end of my phone, and takes the scary away!! I’ve called Lesley at 8am on a sunday, texted from USA and immediately got a call back and late last night Lesley called to check on my back situation and just see if I was ok knowing how I was feeling. We love Lesley, you are just a brilliant person and beautiful soul. I’m lucky to have you on my team xxx

So by monday afternoon, pain had subsided a lot. I tried a small walk…. lasted about 5 mins before coming back ONLY COS OF THE COLD !!!! I made a massive Indian meal to last us 2 days…. rock on and things just turned around a bit.

I’ve done my chemo, 4th cycle. Could feel the effects, my eyes heavy all day. Had to get up about 600 times to go for a wee but I’m in good spirits! Need to keep upbeat for the kids…. it is important for them, for us all.

Here’s my gorgeous sister Anita helping me have chemo, we got tired !!!

Today’s team …… all heroes!! Lots of jokes going on today!! Its mostly cheeky Eileen!! Eileen is the comedian on the ward!! She is trying to get me in for next chemo on 12th Feb but I think she is just having a laugh and getting carried away with it all now!!! I’ve got my scan first and then we will decide if I even need to go back !!!!

So there we are….. this is me, not sugar coating it but getting through it the best we can!! Feeling a bit stronger, feeling loved. Thank you all for your messages and support through my little challenge…..stronger together x