Cycle 3 in the bag!!

For a start chemo and jet lag are not a good combination……. avoid at all costs!! Has thrown me a lot this week but since I don’t technically need to be anywhere at a particular time, I’m just about managing!! Midnight to 4am has been my me time all this week!!

I don’t feel like I have had much of a break as my 2nd infusion of this cycle has come a day early. Day 7 instead of day 8. That nerve pain all over my back and neck kicked in on Tuesday night so I know my next infusion will come with more side effects. Taste buds are not cooperating much but the steroids I am taking are forcing me to keep up with meals and never fret, I’m loosing lbs but eating well. Just burning at a rapid rate. Just wish it was summer so I could prance my skinny self around!!

Took all my strength and power this week and managed 2 very small walks and my yoga class so quite pleased with self!! I think the best way to combat fatigue is fresh air and exercise so giving it my best shot when I can!

Not quite LA sunshine but will do for now!!

I think a few friends missed me over chrimbo so had a lot of calls, texts and a few visitors which has been lovely and good at keeping me awake during the day, although I did fall asleep on my dear friend Bobbie when she came over…. oops!!

Wednesday almost broke me, I struggled and nerve pain was getting too much. I felt like I couldn’t go on much longer and my team were also quite concerned when I went in for my bloods and assessment that day. I was proper looking all trollish with panda eyes and really not my chirpy self!! However, that evening, a big warm detox bath with ginger and epsom salts helped a lot and seemed to turn things around quite quickly. This was followed by sleeping tabs helping me to feel human again. Thursday arrived and I just got up was ready again !

This was about an hour remaining for infusion bags. Very shortly after this, I did explode over the walls. It was a bit, slimy and red with black melon seeds dripping off the walls, ceiling and the nurses who didn’t manage to get to the door in time. Was ok, we licked most of it whilst discussing if there were cancer fighting properties in water melon seeds at which point we almost started fighting over them!! I didn’t get a pic as I was scrambling over folk to get all the seeds I could !!! Well aren’t you glad I didnt tell the, “I delivered a baby” version !!!!

Friday was a long arduous day……. Firstly, waiting for the results from my genetics test since before Christmas. Waiting on tender hooks all day to see if there was a known mutation/s at the root of my cancer and if there are current clinical trials that I can hop on to as another line of treatment. This was followed by over an hour long discussion with my oncologist to break down everything that had and was going on so far. I had only met my onc once up to now and at that point I was too scared to gather any thoughts and rationalise anything and basically we were all in a hurry to start treatment.

Today, Dr W, my expert and hero gave me all the time I needed. We went through about a hundred and fifty things in logical order discussing each one in minute detail. I have been in Clinical Research and trials for years so it was a great discussion and very interesting. It is all science to me which is maybe why I don’t freak out everytime I have one of these meetings. I just come home and mull over it the entire night until it dilutes a bit in my brain.

Some of me is still a bit out of whack after my big infection so I collected a few more party bags and off I went on my merry way with a big frazzled but clearer mind of the next steps. Its not only my belly that wants to burst this week!

My oncologist was amazing and answered all my questions with clarity, honesty and empathy. I am very practical so there was no drama, just facts and a big plan. I feel better for knowing and sort of being in control.

I am pleased to report, just for today, as every day is different, side effects wise, today has been good. I seem to have tolerated the chemo better this time than any of the previous infusions so lets hope this continues. A break now until 22nd. Need to get cycle 4 in the bag and then the BIG SCAN!!!

Everything crossed for the next cycle guys …. and a really uneventful scan. Everything rests on this next time point.

Its Saturday, I have woken up, I feel well, and have my family beside me. I have everything to be grateful for.

Have a good weekend my lovely friends x