The BIG chemo CRASH…

The start of my good week didnt really go as planned….

Sunday 10am, woke hubby ….. “We need to go to the hospital, I feel terrible and they are expecting me”. My face tells it all. No questions asked, Gurveer springs into action. “Give me 3 minutes to get ready”!! We have both mastered the art of leaping out of bed, showering and being at the front door within record time, except today there was no leaping by me! I was very tempted to leave home in my pyjamas as my energy seemed to be draining fast but I refrained !!

Gurveer has been in training events this week Thurs, Fri and Sat! I know he is exhausted with work, looking after the boys, doing everything around the house but he continued to be a hero and voluntarily took the risk and sat up and enjoyed the boxing last night until the wee hours of the morning!! Now, after very minimal sleep, he has the delights of me and my big bobbly eyes like the ‘crazy frog’ towering over him highjacking his only minute hope of a lie in this week.

I’ve slept ok but woken up exactly every 2 hours feeling a bit nauseated, feeling much weaker, strength draining rapidly from my body. I’ve been here! and what I can only describe it as the big crash.

Its a cumulative effect now of 2 infusions, drugs and toxins building up in the body. Full side effects not really known as every ‘body’ is different. First cycle so not really knowing how it will effect me.

Chemo is actually given based on your height and weight, and adjusted each cycle if needed if weight changes. Its a very calculated measure that research has given. I’m not showing off or anything but I have a good figure, I’ve always looked after myself….. I’m no bison…..but this does play on my mind a fair bit… the drugs do need to go somewhere!!

Anyway, by now I feel like a big pile of rotten rotty potatoes. Starting to feel sick and to be honest, you don’t feel sick with chemo as there are are a host of anti sickness meds available now so throwing up generally on chemo is not a thing !!!

I meet with a lovely nurse Sue, also had breast cancer some years back, she puts me at ease, we do a few checks and have a bit of a natter and an hour or so later, I am managing to stand a little and drag myself back home and pop back into my bed with nothing too serious going on!! On the way out, Gurveer is asking where I know Sue from. I look confused and reply, I know her as long as you do from this morning!! “The way you guys were chatting, I thought you were old mates!”

Just shows, as soon as a woman tells you they’ve had breast cancer, you can instantly truly be proper friends within minutes!!!

I did make it to my reunion last night with my lovely ex work collegues. This blog was supposed to be all about my night out but I felt like although I was there….. I really wasnt there !! I just about managed myself through the evening but I don’t think it was too noticable. It was a big distraction and I am glad I managed to see people. I only manage to meet them twice a year and this mighty bunch were the ones that brought me through my first cancer as I carried on working at that time. They were a big part of my support network then and now all lifting me up again mainly cos I had showed up and looked like a human !! I do love this picture though….. big smiles!!

I didn’t manage to get a massive group photo, and I wish I had, I usually do….. but thats ok… I showed up!! As soon as I arrived, I immediately knew the big crash was looming and it weighted very heavily on me until I reached home again. But regardless, I carried on and enjoyed my night, had a good old natter and caught up with everyone! The crash was inevitable either way…… so there we have a fairly productive week if you think about it ….. port, chemo, night out, crash……. and you guys get a blog out of it !!!!

Luckily the kids have been tucked away with cousins since yesterday so are yet unaware that mum is unwell and have not had to endure any of this which is a blessing…… I have been in no fit state to be mummy today….. need to pick them up and have a good squeeze. They will force me back into action, I am sure!

I’m not too ecstatic that this is all infringing on my week off but thats ok…. I still have 10 precious days left!! COME ONNNN…… FEEL BETTER SOON !!!