Port Day ….. but My Kid !!

Well today is a day I’ve been dreading. I need to have a port fitted. Why? 1. My veins are shot after chemo from my first cancer. 2. It took 6 attempts and 1.5 hours to get a vein for my first infusion. 3. With the amount of bloods, infusions and scans that are planned, having a foreign object planted in your body under your skin is a better option!!!

This is the point where it just gets frikkin bizarre. Basically, I will have an incision in my neck and chest both whilst awake under local anaesthetic. A small device will be inserted in my chest and a tube guided through my neck into my vein. It will be pressed and plugged together, stitched up and there you go….. IRON WOMAN is created. Im just dreading this. How can you cut me while I am awake and expect me not too move?! I make no bones about telling my doctor how not happy I am! Mainly for his own safety, I have woken up during a procedure this year whilst under sedation. I’m HardKaur, I need knock out….. sedation just didn’t ‘cut it’ !!

Anyway, Im ready in my stupid gown! On a table, Xray machine over me, covered in sticky blue plastic to cover my eyes and catch the blood I guess! My eyes closed tight like a child. Again, I’m taking myself off in prayer, come on Sal, you’ve got this. In 40 minutes this will be over……. well it won’t. Its going to hurt. FFS….. THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

Doc and his lovely assistant are being ever so nice, a bit of banter going trying to reassure me….. and breathe. Injection goes in my neck…. yep nasty nasty stuff….. injection in my chest to numb it all and another, 3 in total. Frikkin marvellous this is!!

I’m off in prayer, I don’t move a muscle, breathe……. don’t think, don’t feel, I’ve got this……40 mins later I’m done. Was ok actually. I didn’t flinch, didn’t hurt too bad, felt a fair bit of tugging but I didn’t allow myself to think about what was happening. Just stitching you up and then you can move. Ewwwww you didnt need to tell me that you are stitching my skin!! I make a few tiny wise cracks!! “I hope your stitching is good” and “Told you I’m ‘ard”!!!

With the fuss I made prior to the procedure, my doc is quite shocked!! Makes a remark about how he wouldn’t like to get on the wrong side of me!!! OK I’m good, its done! Hate the idea of having a foreign object literally in my personal space but there you go…. it’s in now, get used to it. I’m feeling strong again and with that I almost fall off the procedure table!!!! A bit dizzy and missed the step but I’m good. Another bit done. Everyone is being so nice!! I’ve got this.

Had a big hearty meal when I came home. I’m constantly starving at the moment, rest of the time lying in bed……. then my kid just totally recharges my batteries!! I just love him to bits, really truly makes me smile!!! Amar has a guitar exam tomorrow and his big statement ‘Im going to play Ballroom Blues on this plastic thing!!’ Just turns up by my bed like this !!!!! What more can you ask for !!!!

Brilliant right !!!!