I’m a bit nervous, its going to be a long day but with all that, I am soooo comfortable. I have a lovely room for the day, with a bed, a bathroom, a tv, lunch and tea provided. A lovely bunch of nurses. Such beautiful souls, so caring and loving. Believe me I know, I’ve got experience, I’ve had some rotters!!! Just mean and ….. just mean!
My team, have all come to see me one by one and asked questions, had a natter, got to know me, made sure I was reassured and as comfortable as can be. In an utterly crappy rubbish situation, I couldn’t be more grateful to have paid for private healthcare and for the lovely team around me that were going to get me through the next few months or longer….. I am hoping just months. I need to move on from this.
So my veins are a bit shabby from last chemo, its all taking a bit of time. 1.5 hours later and 6 attempts at getting a vein, we are able to start. I’ve been jabbed a few times but its ok. I’ve had a tea and a heat pad on my poor arm. I’ve never been offered a heat pad in a hospital before!!! Its usually a tighter plastic grip around my arm to pretty much stop my circulation and frikkin hurt like a beast!
I’m ok…… in another situation, I’d be distraught……. tears, angry and scared. Today, I’m good. Ready to get going and for this chemo to go do it’s job and melt away those beastly cancer cells.
So 6 hours later, it’s 6 hours mainly as I have needed lots of fluids, bags of the stuff to dilute these toxic drugs. It can affect my kidneys……. well frikkin marvellous isn’t it!
Well you have to pass your time somehow, don’t you !!! My face just wasn’t worth being in a picture so there you go!!!
Ok so I am done! I have even had a little sleep. I don’t feel too bad but I am quite full on drugs! The key is not to think about it too deeply, not to pollute your mind with the fears and worry. I’ve been meditating in prayer most of the day and my mind is calm.
Gurveer wants me to now go home and rest now but my precious Suraj is in a Jazz concert tonight and cancer doesn’t get to choose what I do…….. so of course I made it to the concert!!!! It was so apt and just so fitting for the day I’d had. It was truly……’The Show Must Go On’.
Today I won, I was there for the concert!!! Truly uplifting! I look around and I guess, the majority have been to work, collected kids from school. Not me…… today I’m a hero……I made it to the concert and I am sooooooo proud of my beautiful boy and his amazing talent!!!
Today I am in control !!